Captain Harry Potter was speaking with his first mate Frodo Baggins on the quarterdeck of the USS Enterprise one evening, when Luke Skywalker from Stargate Command hailed them from a passing ship, the Firefly-class Serenity.

"Hail, The-Boy-Who-Lived!" Skywalker called. "What news from the Riddemark?"

Captain Potter called for his speaking trumpet. He hoisted it to his mouth, turned towards Frodo's ear, and yelled "What did that 1970's hair-looking karate dude say?!".

Frodo, after finishing his plate of spaghetti, spoke into the wide end of the speaking trumpet, of which the smaller end was now sitting within Harry's ear. "Something about Tom Riddle." he said. "And I think he called you a skidmark."

Harry raised his wand and conjured a 7-inch rancor on the gunwale. He then conjured a miniature broom, sword, tunic, helmet, shield, and leather shoes. The rancor donned the equipment, climbed onto the broom, and set off for Skywalker's starship. Foregoing his lightsaber, Luke blasted the flying abomination out of the sky with his blaster.

"Blast!" cried Captain Potter. "This magic stuff is way too involved and finicky. Baggins!"

"Yes, sir!" Frodo cried as he stood one foot from his captain, looking particularly large-eyed.

"Fire a cannon into that metal...flying...thing!" ordered Potter. "And get me a butterbeer! I'm almost sober and it's not even ten in the morning yet."

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